elizabethbarron13

Austin Butler (the plant) Will Survive

I named my new plant Austin Butler because I had a feeling it wouldn’t win an Oscar this week either

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Was it worth losing the top layer of skin on my nose? Sure!

Much like Jesus, or Santa Claus, I have always been aware of Batman—one of those guys who seems very real

“Wait, Lady Gaga’s husband isn’t gay?”

My therapist told me to watch Dune, so I haven’t been around in a while. I honestly just realized it

What I remember doesn’t matter, but it’s been 20 years and my memories are still photo clear, and maybe if

I appear to be a pretty chill person despite the fact that my body and mind believe I am in

It hurts me to say this as a queer lady, but my Birkenstocks took me down.

Baguettes are so much I work, I can see why Jean Valjean went to jail for stealing one

“On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m between a 15 and ‘Would someone please put a pillow over my face'”